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Heart of America Stand Down

Was writing a very funny new screenplay called JOAN DARK with my partner, Bob Hurst. It's a modern retelling of Don Quixote only the main character is a woman and she's this crazy person who dresses up as a knight and rides around the American Midwest in her pickup truck, avenging evil and fighting injustice. Later in the screenplay, you learn that she's a damaged Iraq War vet. And while we were researching this character, we got interested in the cause of helping homeless veterans. Soon, we found this amazing organization called Stand Down. They have chapters in many - maybe most - large cities, and the Kansas City group is called Heart of America Stand Down.

What they do is so wonderful - they hold these events about twice a year where homeless veterans come and get medical care, clothing, and connect with services that might help them get a job or a place to live. Some of these folks have really turned their lives around because of the help they got from Stand Down.

Here's a video clip from their latest event (I had nothing to do with making this video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh_-HSxH6tA

When I saw what the troops were going through in Iraq and Afghanistan - and how their rate of suicide has increased so dramatically of late - I really wanted to do something to help. These are, after all, people who (as my high school football coach used to say) left it all on the field. They gave pretty much all they had for what they felt was a very noble cause.

Here's the thing: I really don't think very many people volunteer for the soldiering business to be a bad guy. I think they mainly do it because they want to make the world a little safer, maybe help some people get their freedom. I'm not a fan of war, I don't always agree with the way our armed forces are used. But my heart goes out to these men and women who do so much for so very little. That any of them end up neglected or alone or waiting to receive help is a crime.

Anyway, I'm trying to raise some money for this cause, so if you can spare a couple of bucks ("spare change, man?"), then maybe some homeless veterans will get some new shoes or a tooth filled or something. Seems like a very good thing. You can donate at http://www.crowdrise.com/pancakesbreakfastsforvets/fundraiser/homelessveterans

The Tao of Pancakes

Had a wonderful time recently, making a promotional video for Chris Cakes of Louisburg, KS. At first glance, Chris Cakes is a catering service that shows up at your event and makes and serves delicious pancakes. However, unlike anyone else, they also flip the pancakes onto your plate from several feet away (if you want them to) and in fact, they own several Guiness Book world records for these tricks!

(They also do hamburgers, hot dogs, bratwurst, barbeque and other stuff. Chris Cakes, as they like to say, is not just for breakfast anymore. PLEASE NOTE: they do not throw meat.)

Owner Steve Hamilton is a perfect fit for his business - the rare combination of business savvy and showmanship, with a gentle yet piquant sense of humor that infects everything Chris Cakes does. Steve's spirited, funny and reliable Kansas City crew serves probably a million pancakes a year at schools, churches, businesses, community events, private parties (I could go on, but it would take hours). As you can probably guess, fundraisers are a big part of it.

They're so good at serving their customers that most of their business comes from referrals and return customers. Until recently, they didn't even have to think much about advertising or marketing, but then it got so they couldn't handle all the out-of-town engagements (they keep getting calls from Virginia and Maine and Arizona and everywhere else) and Steve decided to open franchises in several other states.

That's why they made the video - to hand out on DVD and to post on YouTube and their website for their new franchisees. At last report, business was up twenty percent - pretty good for the middle of a recession.

Steve thinks we did an excellent job of capturing the essence of his business. We both wanted the video to be more "raw" than polished and I think it works - at any rate, it was great fun to make something that diverges so completely from the more button-down corporate stuff that normally butters our bread.

Demonic "Key Cards" at Hotel Imbued with Magical Power to Unlock Doors

"It's like something out of Harry Potter!" warned Jeff Tamblyn, a writer and producer of corporate videos, when he checked in recently at Marriott's Griffin Gate Resort in Lexington, Kentucky, and was subsequently issued a small, white, plastic card which caused his hotel room door to unlock itself.

"I could tell demons were at work," says Tamblyn, who cited the appearance of an ominous green light next to the slot in which the card was thrust. "Next thing I knew, the lock was turning all on its own. It could've been part of an elaborate joke, but I wasn't going to stick around and find out. I ran to the elevator as fast as I could and went right back to the front desk to complain."

Tamblyn's surprise was compounded when he was told by Front Desk Clerk Krissy Stevens that all the rooms were opened the same way - using the mysterious key cards. Stevens was unable to explain the process by which the cards were given their power, but she demonstrated it, placing one inside a box on the counter. Although no noise emanated from the box, it reopened a moment later, its contents now charged with the frightening power to unlock a door.

Neither Stevens nor the hotel's front desk manager, Mark Holtzman, cared to speculate if the box was inhabited by tiny demons or other creatures of the dark world, but noted the disturbing fact that the cards have been in use "for a number of years now in hotels across the country."

Tamblyn said later, "That must've been when I started screaming. I don't recall the face of the security guard who escorted me out, but I do recall the small black device attached to his hip which was chattering with disembodied voices. I asked him if they came from the souls of people who had used the key cards. But he didn't answer."

Self-Employment Made Harder by Difficult Boss

"Let's face it," complains Jeff Tamblyn, who's been self-employed for over 16 years, "my boss is a jerk. I thought I'd worked for some bozos in my time, but I really take the cake."
Among Tamblyn's grievances are that he doesn't pay himself enough, he doesn't give himself enough time off, and that he makes fun of himself behind his own back. "I can't prove it yet," he whispers, "but I think there's even some sexual harassment going on."
Tensions in the office reached an all-time high last month when Tamblyn caught himself taking slips of paper from the suggestion box and destroying them without having read them. "It was an act of bad faith," he mutters under his breath, "but I can't say I'm surprised."
The incident led to a shouting match that led to Tamblyn staging a walk-out. He admits it was an extreme action but he claims he left himself no choice. "I really suck when it comes to leadership skills. Oh sure, I'm great with clients and vendors, but behind closed doors, when it's just me and me, I run a sweatshop."
Tamblyn also claims things were going pretty well until just a few months ago when he made himself CEO. "I really got a big head over that. You'd think I'd made myself King of the Western Hemisphere or something. I suppose that's next," he sneers.
Tamblyn seems to have few options for improving the situation. "I'm passing around a petition," he says. "Maybe if I sign it enough times, that'll get my attention. But if that doesn't work, I might have to quit, but I hope it doesn't come to that. I really like my odds for making supervisor eventually."